I Cried Too

It was your first day

And the drive to school though short

Felt very long.

You did not quite understand

So you played and laughed happily

While counting along to your favorite songs

As we walked side by side

I held on tightly to your hand

Secretly wanting to turn around and bring you back home

But you were naively excited

And eager to start your first day of school.

But I could feel the pressure pulsating in my head

My heart beating so loudly it echoed in my head

“Why am I so nervous?” I said out loud

Daddy reassured me you will be okay.

Daddy rang the doorbell.

The door opened and we walked in.

Happy smiles greeted us.

I could hear the children laughing and playing in their classrooms.

I heard the babies crying in their nurseries

To the sides, I saw mommies and daddies trying to console their little ones.

I saw teachers and staff patiently waiting to take the children to their respective rooms

And then I felt it.

Your grip tightened around my fingers

And my heart sunk

Now it was my turn, my turn to convince you it would be okay

My turn to console you

But nothing I said was working.

Maybe I wasn’t convincing enough

Maybe I wasn’t saying the right words

Maybe you saw the tears in my eyes

Because you would not let me go

You looked up at me and then began to cry

Mommy, Mommy, please don’t let go

Mommy, Mommy I want to go home with you

And as your teacher “ripped” you from my arms

She gently promised to take care of our precious little gift

But I could feel my heart bleeding in sorrow

And I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer

As you continued to scream

Mommy, Mommy, please don’t leave me

Mommy, Mommy, please don’t let me go.

And with what felt like a lump in my throat

I quietly shouted STOP!

I cuddled your tiny face in my hands

And I said, Baby please don’t cry

Mommy will be right outside

Please baby don’t cry

Please let me dry your eyes

You’ll be okay, I promise to stay close by

And your teacher will call me,

If you really need me to come by

And as I watched your teacher walk away with you

I felt helpless as your screams echoed loudly down the hallway

Oh baby, mommy’s heart is breaking

So Daddy held me tight

And whispered in my ear, he will be alright

But nothing he say could take the pain in my heart away

Nothing he said brought me any comfort

So I knew I had to see you

I needed to know that you were okay

I couldn’t just walk away

So I stayed close by

And I waited; I waited until I heard your cries no more

I watched the clocked all day long

I couldn’t wait for 3 o’clock

I got there just in time

I got there and you looked so happy

You had found a new friend

But then you saw mommy and all that ended

We held each other closely and cried

And I promised never to leave your side

To Josiah my first born son

 Love Always and Forever

 Mom