God Created You for Me

Together we intertwined. God made me for you and you for me.

We are one flesh, together we intertwined.

I am your missing rib found in just one kiss.

You were perfectly knitted in your mother’s womb just for me.

And I for you.

God knew we were meant to be together,

Until we are old and die.

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” (Proverbs 3:3)

Before you asked, God knew the perfect husband for you. Before you asked, God answered your prayers. The man standing next to you, the one you promised to love until death separates the two of you is the man God created for you.

Do you remember pleading with God to send you the ‘perfect’ husband? He heard all of your prayers, and He gave you “the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)  

Why then are you so ‘unhappy’ and dissatisfied? I see. He chews with his mouth open. He leaves all the cupboard doors open. He leaves his socks and underwear on the bathroom floor. He never puts the toilet seat down. You have to ask him to take the kid(s) to the playground. You have to ask him to put his cell phone down, turn the games off, and spend time with the children.

He leaves his plate on the table after he is finished eating. He burps or passes gas without saying: “Excuse me.” He is a procrastinator, and waits until the last minute to pay the bills, and oftentimes gets charged for the late payment. He is messy. He holds grudges and is unforgiving. He doesn’t recognize that you need a break and doesn’t offer to help without you asking. He is rude and dismissive. Oh yes, let’s not forget that he always wants to have sex, knowing you’ve had a rough day with the children.

Wow, the list is endless. Ladies, I know these are our true feelings and they should not go unnoticed. But my questions are: Does our list disqualify our husbands from being the one God created for us? Is our list preventing us from seeing that our husbands are indeed the “perfect” match for us?  Is our list preventing us from allowing God to use us to heal our marriages? Is our list pushing our husbands away and sabotaging our marriages? In other words, are our expectations influencing our perceptions and therefore our decisions?  Are we allowing our experiences, our judgments, and ultimately the way we feel determine if our husbands are the men God created for us?

I know for me, my list and expectations often get in the way of how I see my husband. I am so focused on what I want to see that I sometimes miss what he is doing. I am so focused on him always being on his phone that even when he is not on the phone and playing with the children, I have accused him of being on the phone.

So today, I want to encourage each of you, myself included, to STOP, put the list down and do some introspection. Why did God give you this man? Why did God give your husband you for a wife? Is He telling you something? Is He teaching you something about yourself? Is He trying to save you, or better yet, the both of you? Why? Why this man?

I submit to you that there are things you and I can do to make our own marriage better, but if we choose not to do it, then we have to consider how our attitude is contributing to the issues in our marriage. Please understand, I am not downplaying how we feel or minimizing our expectations. But God is calling on us to deal with our own selfishness and pride. Do not say: “I’ll do to them as they have done to me; I’ll pay them back for what they did.” (Proverbs 24:29)

He is calling on us to come to Him for strength. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) He is asking us to STOP trying to “fix” our husbands, and simply allow Him to do the fixing.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)  He is asking us not to give up, and to not get weary in doing what is right, “for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” (Galatians 6:9)

So let us first commit to showing our husbands true, unadulterated love and affection today. Start small. Commit to realistic expectations. Practice patience and acceptance when he’s acting out of character and refusing to spend quality time with the family. Reach out to him when he doesn’t show you that he loves you. I know, it may seem unfair and unrealistic, but God wouldn’t ask us to do something that’s impossible. If He is asking it may be because He knows we can.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:13-14)

Secondly, let us look for opportunities to praise our husbands rather than constantly looking over their shoulders for the next time he messes up. When we resort to the latter, we miss out on opportunities to show how much we appreciate the things they do for us and our family.

Lastly, with a sincere heart, let us go to God and ask Him to show us how to feel loved and accepted by Him first and foremost. Let us ask Him to give us peace; Ask Him to forgive us for being bitter and resentful towards our own husband; Ask Him to teach us how to accept love from our own husband, and how to truly love and appreciate him.

God says, in Daniel 9:21: “While he was still praying, God sent His angel, Gabriel, to him. “Yea, whiles I was speaking in prayer, even the man Gabriel, whom I had seen in the vision at the beginning, being caused to fly swiftly, touched me about the time of the evening oblation.” God will do the same for you and me! All He asks is that we trust Him completely. Let us trust Him the same way we did when we asked Him to give us the ‘perfect’ husband.