I wrote this post several months ago but for some strange reason, I haven’t been able to publish it, and even now, I am still hesitant. So whoever you are, where ever you are, I pray this post will be a blessing to you. I pray this post will help you to do something differently as you seek to honor God through parenting your children for His glory.
I was arrested by my thoughts, only to discover it was all a web of lies.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27.
It is so easy to focus on the things we think we are not doing correctly: how we parent our child(ren) and the ways in which we manage our home. It is just as easy to get bogged down by how we think others perceive us and the behaviors of our children. It is even easier to get distracted from our purpose when we internalized everything and make it about us. It is also very easy to get frustrated when we dwell upon our past mistakes: imaginary wants and supposed wants far into our future. We further stress ourselves out when our spirit is crushed and when we do not have the elements of a contented spirit.
With that said, being a mom can be a daunting process. Being a stay-at-home mom adds an additional layer of stress because you are on call 24/7 seldom getting a break. To make matters even more difficult, being a stay-at-home Christian mom adds a few extra layers of pressure because there is this constant need to make sure your children are doing well both academically and spiritually, and more importantly, that they are well-behaved because you are fearful of being judged if they are not.
A few months ago, I experienced what I would consider my lowest point of motherhood. I watched myself plunge into an abyss through what I call self-inflicted perpetual stress. I woke up one morning, and I did not recognize who I was anymore. All I could think about was how I was going to get through another day with my children. That has NEVER happened to me before. I have NEVER WANTED A BREAK FROM MY CHILDREN. But there I was, the mommy who never asked for a break from her children, who never shuns her responsibilities, and who prides herself in teaching her children, completely stressed to the point of wanting to hide away in my closest.
My emotions were wrapped up in confusion. I cannot fully describe or put into words exactly what I was feeling. The only thing I could get out of my mouth because I needed to get out of the house was “I need a break!” The feelings were overwhelming me and making it difficult for me to function effectively in my role. These emotions are experiences I have only heard about from other moms and friends. I was frustrated because I felt unproductive. I was going several days and the kids did absolutely no schoolwork. I worked all day and at the end of it all, there was absolutely no evidence I had accomplished anything at all. I couldn’t seem to get a handle on the laundry, another mess in the living room and kitchen, another meal to fix, and another diaper to change.
I found myself questioning my abilities to run my home the way God intended and instructed me to. I was pouring into my kids, but the changes seemed so minuscule that I couldn’t tell if anything I was teaching them was taking root. To make matters worse the weather was inconsistent (freezing cold one day and raining the next) so going outside to play was not an option and I could tell the children were were just frustrated from being confined in the house as much as was.
Additionally, my stress level was exacerbated by the fact that I wasn’t getting enough rest or taking the time to eat properly. I was only getting three to five hours of sleep, and possibly six hours but only if I was in bed by 8 p.m., all while trying to complete my book, keep up with my blog and social media accounts, taking care of the children and home which I was doing a very poor job of.
Satan is constantly working to unsettle our faith and destroy our courage and hope
My frustrations got so bad that it began to spill over onto my husband. I started complaining to him that he did not appreciate what I do and if he really did, in my estimation, he would acknowledge and applaud me for my hard work. I was frustrated that he didn’t articulate the fact that I needed a break and he had the audacity to get upset when I took one on my own cognizance.. The pressure I continued to put on myself for feeling like a “failure” continued to mount and overwhelmed and frustrated me. But God is so merciful (shouting and dancing), He sees us in our mess and He rescues us.
It is during those unsettling moments when we are weakest that our Heavenly Father’s strength is made perfect in us. I also learned that the problem wasn’t my children or the fact that my husband didn’t acknowledge or applaud me for doing my motherly duties. The problem was me. Yes, I said it. I was the problem. I wasn’t using my time wisely. My priorities weren’t in line with God’s. My frustrations manifested because I wanted to do my work (social media posting and blogging) when I should have been focusing on the children and when the children requested my time, I felt bothered, so I lashed out. I was tired because I was staying up too late to write and wasn’t getting enough rest, so I became easily agitated. I wasn’t taking care of myself so I was unable to care for the children the way I know I should be doing. I allowed Satan to unsettle my faith and distract me from my ordained role.
Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3
Mommies, God has given us a great responsibility: to care for and train up our children so that when they are older they will not depart from Him, (Proverbs 22:6) and whenever we are out of alignment with the things of God, everything around us will also follow suit. When we yield to impatience, we cause others (spouse, children, and other loved ones) to suffer. When we do not maintain a calm spirit, but manifest a lack of forbearance, we displease God and create an unwelcoming atmosphere in our home and over our families. Whenever we are stressed, everyone is miserable and unhappy. The sad truth about this is that we often blame our children and think that they are disobedient and unruly and the worst children in the world when in truth and in fact we may be the cause of the disturbance.
Lets be clear, we do need a break to recenter, recharge, rest and spend quiet time with God. We also need time to relax and regroup so we can tackle the demands of our duties. But let us also keep in mind that God always requires us to exercise self-control in everything we do because those around us will be affected by the spirit we manifest, and if they, in turn act out the same spirit, the evil is increased. So whenever we are overwhelmed do not be discourage, but hold fast to God’s on changing hands and His promises: “the Spirit helps us in our weakness and when we do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Romans 8:26), so never be afraid to call on God.
I pray this song will be a blessing.
I HAVE NO RIGHTS TO THIS SONG
https://youtu.be/wtSKzHxVqxQ
