Faith Brought us Together and God Sealed us for Eternity
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mark 10:9)
Growing up I knew I wanted to marry someone who was a Christian and who loves the Lord. I met Courtney in 2006 while attending university in the US and we became instant friends even though we had nothing in common, except we were both Jamaicans. He was polite and friendly, charming, and intelligent. He was quiet and did not have a lot to say but when he did speak, I was totally captivated by his eloquence. He was unassuming and not to mention very handsome, and yes a Christian. I, on the other hand, was overly confident, loud and witty, insensitive but friendly, outgoing, talkative, and, one hundred percent certain Courtney was not the man of my dreams. However, while in graduate school we found ourselves spending more time together and our conversations lasting for hours but still no expressed affection was shared.
In January 2009, I lost my father to cancer just five months before my graduation and my world once organized and well planned was shattered. You see, my father was my world, everything I did revolved around him. I worked for him. I went to school for him. I was to care for him the way he took care of me, but now all that is gone. I will never get to show him how much I appreciate what he did for me. The pain was indescribable and the loss unbearable. It was then that Courtney became my tower of strength. He was my ever-present shoulder to lean on, to cry on, and my ever-present friend. He invited me to church and made himself available, at whatever hour I needed him, to explain or clarify anything I studied from the scriptures. His love and compassion was heart warming and his patience was refreshing. As the months passed, I found myself falling in love with my best friend.
So in 2010, we decided to start dating. We dated for two years before Courtney proposed. I can’t say it was a smooth sailing experience for Courtney because I recall him purchasing three different sets of wedding rings (all of which I had a problem with, it was called fear), leading up to the day I said yes I would marry him. I knew I loved him but I wasn’t sure if I was the right woman for him. He was and still is, charming, loving, hardworking and committed to his family. Not to mention sacrificial, patient, gentle and loyal. All positive traits and all the things I wanted and needed in a husband. But I was still hesitant. So I decided to put God to the test and I told Him if Courtney was the man he wanted me to spend the rest of my life with then He would have to make it clear to me. I told God I needed a Gideon experience, Judges 6: 36-40.
Statement to God: If during worship tomorrow night Courtney said he is not taking the job in West Virginia (he really wanted this job and was super excited) then I know for a fact he is the man He wanted me to marry.
Fast Forward to worship the next night: Courtney speaking: “so after thinking about everything I decided not to move forward with the job in West Virginia. My heart was overwhelmed with joy to the point of tears, did God just answer my prayer that clearly? I shared with him immediately my prayer request and he responded by saying, “I asked God to give me a sign as well. I wanted to make sure I was making the right decision as well since you kept hesitating and giving me back the rings. His answer is clear; you are the woman I will marry. Our faith was sealed for eternity.
“For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. “Jeremiah 29:11.
Almost seven years later and three beautiful children, God is still at the center of our marriage. But being a wife and mom takes considerable work and time and life isn’t always perfect, but what is? There are days when we struggle with communication, with parenting, and discussing financial matters which often seems like an up hill battle. And then there is the obvious need for spending quality time together (three children in five years can take a toll) but I would not trade a single moment of my life with my husband for anything this world has to offer.
So whenever life gets overwhelming and the “burden of perplexity and care meets us head on” it is in those moments that we encourage each other to be all that is possible for each other. It is in those moments that, we often sit down and reflect on what drew us together-the long conversations, the movies about royalty, and the silly jokes whereby he bewitched me by telling me about my love languages and I fell for it. It is in those moments, that we make every effort to encourage each other while figuring out the battles of life. It is in those moments we hold fast to God’s promises:
“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. (Psalm 32:8)
So as we continue to study how to advance the happiness of each other we see that God’s plan is perfect even though we are not. And while we continue to navigate this marriage phenomena and continue to learn each other’s complex character as it was impossible to learn during dating we work purposefully to make Christ first and last and best in everything. And as our “love for Him increases, our love for each other will grow deeper and stronger.”
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. ”Ephesians 2:10.